We met at the bank, and he took my number. He actually works at the bank. He called me that same day and made his intentions clear. He called me beautiful and said he took my number because he wanted to see what the future held for us. Every evening after work, he would come to my place and pick me up
We would sit in the car until it was late.
It was in that car that I said yes to his proposal. It was also in the same car that we shared our first kiss. As the relationship progressed, he took me to his home to see where he lived. From then on, I would go there every weekend to clean and do laundry for him. I would cook and stock up groceries for him. After spending the night with me, he would say, "I’ll come home to see you. Send my greetings to your mom."
He never gave me anything—not even taxi fare. This went on for several months until I finally complained. He told me he didn’t realize I needed money. But I’m not working. I recently completed school, so of course I needed money.
After I had done all the domestic work, he would reluctantly give me money. He would hand me GHC100 and say that was all he had. Sometimes he would promise to send me money via mobile payment (momo), but it never came until I complained repeatedly. Then he would send me GHC100 and act as if he had given me a fortune.
One evening, when he was coming to my place, I asked him to buy me food on his way. He responded, "Didn’t your mom cook? Why do you like an easy life like this? Eat before I get there."
When he arrived, he called me. I asked if he had brought the food.
He replied, "What food?" and then hung up, saying he was waiting for me. I didn’t step out. I didn’t pick up his calls. I left him on "read." He sent people to persuade me, but I didn’t budge until he left. He hurled insults at me, calling me a gold digger. Right after that, he asked me to come over. I refused, and I haven’t seen him since. We still talk on the phone, but I’ve sworn not to see him in person again.
Now, he sends me money even when I haven’t asked. He sends food through delivery and asks if we can go out and spend time together. I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year. The only places we’ve ever gone are his room and his car. Now he calls to plan outings, but I turn him down. Yesterday, he sent me GHC500—the largest amount he’s ever given me. He texted, "Don’t you see I’ve changed? Stop punishing me."
I’m doing all of this, but I still love him. I know that men take care of what they love and give willingly when their hearts are in it. I expected that from him. How do I make sure he doesn’t go back to being stingy once I soften my stance?
