When I found Theresa, the word out there was that she was the kind of woman every guy around had had their way with. My friend Eddie told me, “Man, Theresa is not a woman you can stay with: you hit and go. That’s what everybody does.” I answered, “That’s what I’m also going to do
... If she says yes, I’ll make sure that I use her for a few days and vanish.”
That was the game plan when I approached her that day. She was very calm and well-composed, and nothing about her told the story of someone who sleeps around.
We became friends who texted each other once in a while and later became friends who went to look for each other. After a month, I proposed. She asked, “Are you sure you’re not just like any of the guys? They come telling you all sweet things and later disappear when they’ve had what they came for.” I answered, “I’m not like that. Besides, all guys are not the same.” She replied, “If you say so, then we can give it a try.”
The very day she accepted my proposal, she spent the night in my room. She went all out with me that night, and I thought, “If she is this easy to get, then I wouldn’t last a month.”
Two months later, Eddie asked me, “You’re still with her? I thought you said it was going to be for a short period?”
I told him, “Oh, that girl? I’ve left her long ago. It’s she who’s still pursuing me.” He informed me, “Well, I’ve heard David has started hitting on her.” My heart skipped a beat, and out of nowhere, this sense of jealousy crept into my heart. I said calmly, “I don’t mind. He can have her. I’ve had my bite already.”
When I met Theresa, I asked about David and what he had been talking to her about. She asked if I was jealous. I was, but I denied it. She told me not to worry because she wasn’t a kid.
I started monitoring David. Yeah, he spoke to Theresa once in a while, and it looked like the devil was in his eyes, but Theresa’s demeanor didn’t look like she was interested.
Six months later, I was still with Theresa. Eddie started mocking me: “My guy, you said a few days, ooo. It’s been over six months already. What’s happening? Is she your serious girlfriend now? Everyone is laughing at you, ooo.” I responded, “You don’t believe that I’ve left her, right? She’s the one chasing me. I don’t care what anyone will say or do to her. She’s my backup.”
Eddie told me that David told him he had Theresa last week and they spent the whole night together. I went back into my memory. There was not a single night that week that I didn’t spend with her. It only meant David was telling a lie.
In front of my friends, I denied her because I was ashamed to admit she was my serious girlfriend. Theresa had been an amazing girlfriend. She was somewhat naive, but she wasn’t stupid. When she talked about her past relationships, she talked about them with passion and hurt. She wasn’t cheap. She craved the love of those she gave her heart to, and they all disappointed her.
She wasn’t stupid. She was rather misunderstood on the deepest level. It’s the combination of her naivety and honesty that made me stick to her. She didn’t hide her feelings, and she hardly lied. So when, in my head, I wanted to leave her because I couldn’t stand the name-calling, my heart kept telling me to stay.
A year and a half later, Eddie brought his book of records: “Officially, you hold the record for dating Theresa the longest. The record holder did it for only three months, and you’ve done a year already.”
I corrected him: “It’s been eighteen months. That’s more than a year. It’s not Theresa’s fault that guys come and go. You can blame her for choosing stupid guys as lovers, but you can’t blame her for the things those stupid guys did. She’s a good girl. That’s the most important thing, and for the first time, I’m going to admit that I’m in love with her.”
Eddie looked at me like he had seen a ghost, with his mouth and eyes wide open: “You are in love? As in, she’s your serious girlfriend now? A girl that everyone in this area has used?”
I asked him, “What about you? Have you used her too?”
I can’t blame Eddie. He’s a childhood friend, and he loved me too much to watch me make a mistake. But I asked him not to remind me of Theresa’s past again because it was forward ever.
When a woman is loved right, she blossoms. Maybe that’s why their exes return just when these women are flourishing in their newfound love. They become better than they used to be. They glow, knowing that someone loves them just the way they want to be loved.
Theresa started glowing, and all the guys who left started coming to hit on her. They came with the right words and polished character to win her again, but alas, there was no empty place in her life for them to occupy.
In November 2018, Eddie was my best man. He stood by my side while I declared my undying love for Theresa. He whispered into my ear, “She looks different. She’s really beautiful.” I answered, “That’s why she’s my wife.”
Almost two years as a couple, and we haven’t had any regrets. We have a son—Pete, and he’s fast becoming the center of our joy.
