HOW TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY WITHOUT MUCH PAIN

1. Make sure you are ready to have sex. 

Feeling nervous about your first time is normal. If you feel tense when you think about sex or when you and your partner are fooling around, it might be a sign that you should wait. If you have sex when it doesn't feel right, you may enjoy sex less and become tense during the act.

• A lot of people grow up being taught sex is shameful, should be reserved for marriage, and is only to be experienced between a man and a woman. If the idea of sex makes you feel guilty or stressed, maybe you should wait. Try talking to someone about your feelings.

• It is normal to feel insecure or unconfident about your body. But if you are scared or cannot be naked because of how you look, it might be a sign that you're not quite ready to be with a partner.

• Don't feel ashamed of your sexual preferences. Only you can decide who you're attracted to and what type of sex you want.

2. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER. Talking with your partner can establish trust while helping you feel more positive about having sex. A good partner should be considerate of your feelings and willing to help you through the process. If your potential partner pressures you too much or makes you feel uncomfortable, reconsider having sex with them.

• Talk about birth control and protection before you have sex. You might say, “I’m on birth control, but you’re still going to use a condom, right?”

• Let them know what your fears and expectations are and how you're feeling. You might say, “I’m really nervous about it hurting the first time.”

• Tell your partner if there’s something you want to try or something you absolutely don’t want to do. For example, you can tell them, “I don’t mind oral sex, but I’m not really into anal.”

• If you’re nervous or anxious, let them know. If they dismiss your feelings, it may be a sign that they do not take your concerns seriously.

3. FIND A TRUSTED ADULT YOU CAN TALK TO. You might feel awkward discussing sex with an adult, but you should at least identify someone you can reach out to for help. This could be a parent, a doctor, nurse, school counselor, or an older sibling. They can give you advice, answer your questions, and provide access to protection. Even if you don't end up talking to them beforehand, you may want to have someone you could contact in case of emergency.

• If you feel pressured to have sex, talk to a trusted adult for help. Remember that you never have to have sex unless you want to. No one should pressure you into doing something you don't want to.

4. LEARN ABOUT HOW SEX WORKS. Understanding your own anatomy can help you feel more confident, especially if your partner is also a virgin. Knowing what goes where, what's normal, and what to expect can help ease your anxiety.

• Masturbation can help you understand what you enjoy when it comes to sex. Before having sex with a partner, try experimenting with yourself.

5. DISCOVER YOUR HYMEN. Contrary to popular belief, the hymen membrane does not usually cover the vaginal opening unless a condition exists such as a microperforate or septate hymen. Rather than it being a "seal of freshness" like many say, it is instead the muscle and skin surrounding the opening, akin to the skin and muscle of the butthole. It doesn't "break", but it can be damaged by anything from tampons, doing the splits, or when having sex or inserting larger objects in, which causes the pain most virgins feel.

• If the hymen is damaged or torn, it will most likely bleed. This can be seen whilst and after sex. The amount of blood should not be nearly as much blood as if you were on your period.

• Tearing/"breaking" your hymen shouldn't be very painful. Pain during sex is usually caused by friction. This can happen if you are not lubricated or aroused enough.

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