When it comes to having fun sex, penetration is really just a tool in the toolbox and isn't even necessary to achieve orgasm. Not to mention, rushing into penetration can mean missing out on all kinds of stimulation, and especially for vulva owners, this can even come at the cost of reduced opportunities. reach orgasm.__which tends to happen more quickly when there is stimulation from outside the clitoris. To this end, engaging in non-penetrative sexual acts with a partner is more than just foreplay or an appetizer to the main course. Rather, it is the satisfying path to complete orgasm – the path that sexologists calls outplay
You can think of outerplay as any type of sexually inspired play that happens between partners without penetration, says Wright. “It presents a fun opportunity to get to know each other’s bodies more intimately,” she adds, and because of the exploratory nature of it, it tends to involve more intentionality and curiosity, too.
“Outerplay presents a fun opportunity to get to know each other’s bodies more intimately.” —Rachel Wright,
Here’s how to make the most of non-penetrative sex acts with 5 outerplay tips:
1:Focus on the clitoris.
“We know that the clitoris is an organ in the body specifically designed to provide pleasure to people with vulvas, thanks to thousands of nerve endings,” Story said. And since it's often best stimulated without penetration, some non-penetrative sex acts can lead to clitoral orgasms. “Learning how to stimulate the entire clitoris, not just the bulb, can be extremely satisfying.”
2. FINGERING
Who said fingering was a pre-show to the main event? Having your partner explore your vulva or vagina with their fingers can be intense and erotic. And go beyond the clitoris. While this can be the "ready, set, go" button to a great orgasm, you can create erotic buildup by asking your partner to explore everything but the clitoris. Another way to make your fingering more intense is to try some light BDSM style play. For example, have your partner blindfold you or tie your hands loosely behind your back so they can focus solely on your pleasure. (As always, BDSM play, no matter how demure it may seem, can get intense quickly, so have a safe word ready just in case.
3. Oral Sex
Tongues are incredibly dynamic tools when it comes to pleasure. Oral sex has so many different facets and can just keep getting better the longer you and your partner experiment. But besides technique (pointy tongue or flat tongue? Both amazing; both very different sensations on a vulva) the most important thing in oral sex is communication, vulnerability, and allowing your partner to pleasure you.
4. Try some toys
Using a vibrator directly on the clitoris will ensure an even more powerful orgasm. Toys may seem like something purely for solo play, but they can be surprisingly erotic when used with a partner. You can let your partner control and direct the pressure, speed, and placement of the toy. For example, Bluetooth sex toys are very sexy even when you are lying directly on top of each other because your partner is in control of everything. Not knowing what's going to happen next stimulates your brain and increases the intensity, which can lead to an amazing orgasm.
5.Demonstrate how you masturbate
You don’t even have to touch much less penetrate a sexual partner to engage in this show-and-tell sex act—but just watching could be every bit as hot. Masturbating in front of a partner also serves the dual purpose of teaching them exactly what feels good to you. “We know our bodies so well that it’s incredibly helpful to actually guide someone through what pleasures us,” says Wright. Not to mention, the experience of demonstrating your own arousal technique to a partner could be arousing for both you and them, in and of itself.
