When some people hear of BDSM, they think of blindfolds, silk restraints, and handcuffs, while others prefer something more extreme. Some people are sure that they are not interested at all, while others can't help but be genuinely interested. If you're new to BDSM, you may be wondering, "Where do I start?" According to sex educators and experts, "kink" is a term that covers a variety of issues, so there are some important things that BDSM newbies should know.
Various activities and forms of sexual expression.
Well "It is a catch-all word for sexual practices and interests that are outside the mainstream — from role-playing to dominance and submission, a vast array of fetishes, and sadism and masochism,"
When exploring BDSM, remember that there’s no need to rush to create your own "Red Room of Pain,” à la 50 Shades. "To begin, you might simply try being blindfolded and let your partner tickle you with a feather, or lightly stroke your skin with a whipper. If that turns you on, move towards slightly racier bondage play, like binding wrists with a silk tie or handcuffs, a massage candle being dripped on your skin, or exploring the sensation of playful spanking," ..
Here's a beginner's guide to BDSM, according to sexperts.
1.HAVE FUN.
You'll probably feel silly or embarrassed the first few times you try to tie a fancy bow or order someone to kneel. "You will make mistakes. BDSM is all about having fun and exploring new dimensions of desire and fantasy,"
Keep things in the spirit of adventure. Also keep in mind that many BDSM activities are dangerous, so find a trustworthy educator (also not necessarily the most famous, loudest, or most charismatic person in your local BDSM community).for help.
2. KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES
Just because you're doing BDSM in the bedroom doesn't mean you have to relinquish control outside the bedroom
"Some people aren't interested in anything other than using BDSM as a way to spice up sex and that's okay. In fact, most people don't have that type of relationship dominant/submissive and just enjoy a little passionate sex."
You and your partner need to understand what the other person wants and respect each other's boundaries.
3. Go slow, take your time
BDSM is a wide network of countless activities. "From spanking and bondage to Dominance, needle play, and beyond, it's easy to fall down the rabbit hole when you first begin exploring this new world. At first it can feel like you're a five-year-old let loose in a candy store. Many people who are brand new to BDSM immediately want to try all the things and end up over-indulging,". Take it slow, go in knowing there will be endless temptations, and have fun in a smart way.
4. Discuss consent
If you don't know the basics of consent, you must start there "All BDSM is based on this very important concept. This dance means you are at risk of causing significant harm to others and yourself.
Remember that active consent must be enthusiastic, continuous, informed and voluntary. That is, it is a total commitment, without strings attached or manipulated.
5.Make use of safe words
Some people like simple colors like red (stop immediately, no questions asked), yellow (I'm uncomfortable or reaching my limit or need to slow down), and green (keep going!). Other people like plain language — stop, I'm OK, etc. Just remember that any kind of "I'm unsure" or "I don't know" in a scene is equivalent to a stop. Some people come up with really usual words for use in their scene, but just remember — if you are in a highly intense scene where it's difficult to think or form words, simple is usually best.
6. DETERMINE YOUR ROLE
Remember that if you are doing power play (dominance and submission or sadism and masochism), you both have equal power when negotiating the activity in advance."Everyone has a say in deciding how things will take place, especially in the beginning. As you improve your ability to orchestrate a scene, you'll learn how to make it incredibly sexy and even become an important part of your foreplay."
You can also try oral sex.
