We first met at the bank where he works. He asked for my number, and later that same day, he called me. From the very beginning, he made his intentions clear—he told me I was beautiful and admitted he wanted to see what the future held for the two of us. From then on, he made it a habit to come over after work and pick me up. We would sit together in his car, talking late into the night.
It was in that same car that I said yes to his proposal and where we shared our first kiss. As our relationship grew, he took me to his home to show me where he lived. That became the beginning of another routine: every weekend, I would go there to cook, clean, do his laundry, and stock his groceries. After spending the night with me, he would casually say things like, “I’ll come home to see you. Greet your mom for me.”
But through all of this, he never gave me anything—not even money for transportation. I had just completed school and wasn’t working, so of course I needed financial support. When I finally complained, he told me he didn’t realize I needed money. Even then, when he did give me something, it was always reluctant and often just GHC100. He would act as though he had given me a fortune. Sometimes he promised to send money via mobile transfer, but I always had to remind him over and over before he sent anything.
One day, I asked him to buy me food on his way over. His response shocked me. He asked, “Didn’t your mom cook? Why do you like an easy life like this? Eat before I get there.” When he arrived, he called to say he was waiting, but when I asked if he had brought the food, he said, “What food?” and hung up. That was the last straw for me. I refused to come outside, ignored his calls, and left his messages on “read.” He even sent people to talk me into reconciling, but I stood my ground. Eventually, he hurled insults at me, calling me a gold digger.
Yet, strangely, right after that, he begged me to come over. I refused, and from then on, I vowed not to see him in person again.
Interestingly, things began to change after that. Now, he sends me money even without me asking. He sends food through delivery services and calls to suggest we go out and spend time together. Still, I keep turning down his invitations. Recently, he even sent me GHC500—the biggest amount he has ever given me. Along with it, he texted: “Don’t you see I’ve changed? Stop punishing me.”
We’ve been together for almost a year, yet until now, the only places we’ve ever been are his room and his car. Suddenly, he’s talking about outings and trying to show effort. But part of me is still holding back because I’m afraid that once I soften and give in, he’ll go back to his old stingy ways.
The truth is, I still love him. Deep down, I know that men naturally give to what they truly love, without being pushed. That’s the kind of love and generosity I’ve been expecting from him. My biggest question now is: how do I ensure he doesn’t slip back into his old habits the moment I let down my guard?
