The first day I entered their compound, I noticed something strange.
Her mother was finer than her.
I didn't talk too much, but if you see this woman ehn, fresh skin like egg wey dem just boil, her hips was like God take time design am, and eyelashes wey flutter like butterfly wings.
I greet her respectfully.
She winked.
I thought it was mistake.
It wasn’t.
By the third visit, I knew I was in trouble.
---
I met Chioma on Facebook dating. Her profile said “God-fearing, loyal, and Igbo girl with good vibes.”
She looked sweet.
We started talking. Two weeks later, we were dating.
She invited me to her house after two months.
That's when I met her mother. And her mother met trouble.
Me.
---
The woman dey look me like say she dey price me for supermarket.
She go touch my shoulder by mistake.
She go smile like say she wan blow me kiss.
She go say things like:
> “You’re very handsome, I hope my daughter is treating you well o, because if she doesn’t...”
And she’ll leave it hanging.
Chioma no notice anything.
But I dey see everything.
---
One day, I dey their parlour dey watch ball with her younger brother.
Chioma dey kitchen.
Madam Mama Chioma come pass. Na so she bend down give me drink.
But e no end there o.
As she stretch, her bobby touch my hand small. I think say na mistake until she say:
> “Oops... naughty me.”
I choke.
---
The one wey scatter everything happen on a Friday night.
Rain dey fall. Chioma no dey house. She say make I wait for her small.
I dey parlour. I wear only singlet and shorts.
Na so her mama waka come from her room, tie only towel.
She sit near me. Close. Too close.
She say:
> “You’re always coming for Chioma. Why not come for me, just once?”
My heart cut.
---
I carry my phone. I wanted to record am as evidence.
But the woman wise.
She collect the phone from my hand gently, drop am on the table and climb ontop my leg like say she be cat.
I froze.
She rubbed my head and whispered:
> “Chioma is a small girl. I’m the woman you need.”
I swear I weak.
---
Just then, Chioma opened the door.
Her eyes land on us.
My hands dey for air like say dem catch me for armed robbery.
Chioma shout, “Mummy! What’s going on here?!”
Her mother no even panic. She stand up, adjust towel, and said:
> “I’ve decided to take him from you.”
Chioma screamed.
I know say my life don enter wahala.
Chioma dey cry.
Tears full her face like say na Nollywood she dey act.
Me, I dey one corner like thief wey dem catch with TV for hand.
Her mama just dey stand with confidence, towel still tied, body still dripping with small rainwater.
> “He’s a grown man,” she said. “Let him choose.”
I look Chioma.
I look her mama.
Na there wahala start.
---
The thing wey shock me pass?
Chioma run enter room, come back with knife.
“I will stab somebody here today!”
I hide behind chair.
Her mama no even fear. She cross her arm and hiss.
> “You go kill your own mama because of man?”
Chioma shout, “You’re not my mother again!”
Wahala!
---
I tried to calm things.
“Chioma please, I didn’t do anything. She jumped on me!”
But her eyes be like pepper soup pot, boiling with madness.
She point the knife at me.
“You didn’t push her away either!”
I no even know when I begin cry small.
I just want go my house. I swear.
---
But her mama hold me again.
She say, “Don’t go. If you stay, I will buy you a car.”
CAR?
She continue: “I’ll open business for you. I will take care of you. Just say yes.”
Chioma scream: “Mummy!!!”
I confuse.
Two women. One house. One man, me.
---
I run go outside.
Rain still dey fall.
My shirt don soak.
Chioma dey shout behind me. Her mama dey call my name.
I just keep running.
I reach gate, na so gate man stop me.
“Oga, madam say make I no open gate.”
I wan cry.
---
For three hours I dey stranded.
Chioma dey upstairs dey cry.
Her mama dey downstairs dey bake cake for me.
Cake!
Na this same woman wey almost ruin her daughter relationship dey sing love song for kitchen.
I begin wonder if na jazz.
I nearly eat the cake o.
But something hold me.
---
I no go lie.
The next week, I go back.
But not to see Chioma.
I go see her mama.
Yes.
Judge me if you like.
The woman get money, sense, and fire.
She rent apartment for me.
She dey spoil me.
And no, I no regret am.
---
Chioma don block me everywhere.
Her papa dey America, so no too concern.
Her mama and I now dey date codedly.
We dey plan to relocate to Canada.
She say age is just a number.
I say sugar is sweet.
Her friends dey call me "the youngest stepdaddy in town."
Na them sabi.
---
But the drama never end.
One Sunday morning, as we dey prepare go beach, Chioma burst enter the house.
She see me shirtless.
She see her mama wearing bumshort.
She scream.
“You still dey here?! You this boy with no shame!”
I say, “Na your mama house. I no dey go anywhere.”
She faint.
Her mama just laugh.
---
So yes...
If you ever see me for Lekki inside G-Wagon with older woman wey fine like Rihanna mama, mind your business.
Love na love.
And sometimes, your destiny helper fit wear wrapper and cook Egusi.
Who am I to say no?
Disclaimer:: This is not my story, he only wants me to share to show love knows no boundaries or age
