A month ago, my husband started to change, he started to ask for more. He also started to become more aggressive in it (not the bad aggressive but the good one). It was so out of order for us, but to be completely honest I do enjoy this change. As a matter of fact it started to change my own s××% drive itself and I found myself wanting him more and seeking more with him more. During this month we became very adventurous and daring and our drive went to a whole awesome wonderful level. Around two days ago, I decided to go to my husband to surprise him at his work. Something I never did before. I dressed nice, put on makeup and went to his work. When I got there I saw him interacting with one of his female coworkers (around my age or a little bit younger). I waited for them to finish but kept watching them.What I saw was her clearly trying to s€dvvce him, and believe me women know these things. He kept keeping his distance and eventually the talk ended. I saw it from out of the office, their office spaces have big glass doors. When I entered his office, he was aro0used. I know his facial expressions when he gets aro0used and he was, oh my God, he was completely in moody. He was happy with my visit, and took the rest of the day off. We went had lunch together then went home where we had s××%. At night we were talking and I mentioned what I saw, and told him what was that? He said that ever since she came to the office, she have been all over him that way. And it drives him crvazy. He even told the HR but apparently nothing happened cause she keeps repeating this with him. He told me that nothing has nor will it ever happen between them and that he loves me forever. I believe him. However, reflecting back on all of this, and what he told me, he became more s××%vvaIIy active with me when all of that started with him. And it makes me wonder, am I not good enough for him he needs another woman to excite him so he can come and have something with me?
I really don't know how to feel about all of this. In my head, he wanted me and enjoyed me. But now I know for a fact he's was ho0rny cause of another woman. I mean what should I do now? Should I tell him how I feel? Should I stop his advances for a little bit so I can clear my head? Please any advice would help me. So, last night I waited to have a talk with him before bed. We had some wine and we talked about the matter. I told him about everything I'm feeling and how the whole situation makes me feel. To be completely honest his answers are making me shaking until now, I couldn't even sleep. He said that her advances towards him started mild, flirty words, etc. Then she started to come at him more aggressively, dropping hints, and then touching him. He went to the HR and told them about the situation. He and the HR laughed about it, and the HR told him he will document it in case she reciprocated badly or anything, but at the end they took it as a laugh. After that she became more aggressive with him, to the point that one day she brushed her br€’ast on his back. He told me that this day he lost it for a little and he and her made out in the office.
He then stopped and told her he's married. After that he lost it three more times more and they made out, and she even started to give him oral but he tells me he stopped her and told her to end everything and since then he stopped everything with her.
When he "ended" things he felt guilt towards me, and decided to become a better husband by becoming better lover to me, and started to have it more with me. As I mentioned before neither me nor him did have a high drive before, so he told me he was planning on being a better lover for me and have a little more bit of s××%, however, it turned out that I liked it and we ended up having more than what he planned. I asked him if he slept with her? He said NO. I asked him if he visualize her when he sleeps with me? He didn't want to answer at first but ended up saying yes. He imagines himself having something with her when he's with me.
He started to apologize to me, and I asked him; How would he feel if I was in his shoes and told him what he told me now? He said to not make a big deal of it, but I insisted I know the answer, he said he'd be disgusted with me and no way he'd stay married to me. I didn't say anything after that.
He tried to apologize to me more than once, but I really couldn't process all these information. Today's morning, he texted me from work and told me he'll be staying at his parent's place for a little while, so we both can clear our heads and can move on forward with out lives.
I still haven't spoken to him yet, and I honestly don't know what to do nor how to deal with the heavy word he dropped on me last night.
