That has been my motto since SS1. I adopted it after my best friend nearly tøøk her lifę when her boyfriend from another school br0ke up with her.
She drank soda soup. Yeah, you heard me right — soda soup.
It was first term. It pained me so much to see her skipping school because of a boy.
So, I planned. I pestered my parents till they transferred me to the very same school that boy was in.
He was a senior boy then. And the day I entered that school, he spotted me. He was among the very first batch of boys scrambling to date me.
Revenge time.
I went out with his friend for two weeks. Dumped him. Then moved on to another guy in the same class for a week.
Rumors began going around that I dropped them because they were broke. Jade — the ladies' man — changed strategy. He started sending me gifts.
I finally gave in and went out with him. He treated me like a queen. Even older girls were green with envy.
He'd pick me up from tutorials and take me to upscale joints just to pamper me.
But on WAEC morning, immediately after assembly, I walked up to him, gave him a tight slap, and said:
"Jade, it's time you tasted your own poison. It's over. Don't come near me again."
I had previously informed my parents that I was being bullied. So that day was my last day in that school.
I pushed him off and walked away.
All the women he had disappointed because of me teased him. I heard he missed some exam papers.
I took up heartbreak as a sport afterwards — until I met Tobechukwu.
He was the team lead of IT in our branch. Calm, composed, and dangerously handsome.
One day, he was publicly disgraced by our supervisor, his files were taken away, and he was shoved. But Tobechukwu apologized and returned to his office meekly.
Two days later, the supervisor was fired.
I had seen power. I had seen strategy. I had seen a man who could defend me — and annihilate my enemies.
So, I got close. At first, it was for protection alone. But soon, I couldn't get him out of my mind.
Was it deliberate? I don't know. But when we talked, he'd touch me — a brush on the hand, a tap on the shoulder — and I'd lose my bearings.
I started feeling jealous of the women he had around him.
Then one day, I was at my junction trying to catch a bus when his Camry pulled up.
That was the first time I had s£x in a car.
Then there was his house — the stairs, the bathroom, the parlour, the kitchen.
I spent the weekend there.
I don't know what was wrong with me. I couldn't stop. I had never spent my money on a man before. But for T-boy?
I equipped his kitchen. Bought him boxers, wristwatches, designer shoes.
And still gave him my body — free of charge.
All to get him to ask me out.
Three months passed. Still no label. But I had hope.
Me? I have dated my boss for two months, milked him dry, and dumped him.
I have dated my colleague's brother, sold his land to fund my birthday, and ghosted him two weeks later.
But Tobechukwu? He had me wrapped.
One day, we snuck out to the cinema. There, he told me one of his fantasies was to have s£x at a cinema.
We did. Not once. Not twice.
Four times.
On different days. (shy)
Then one night, as we were in bed, he stared deep into my eyes and said to me:
"I really need to tell you something. But not now. When the time comes, I will."
I begged him, but he would not say a word.
By this time, I had broken up with all the other guys in my life. It was just him.
When it reached six months — on his birthday — I asked him.
"Define us,"
I demanded.
He was building a house for us, he said.
He did not say more. Just took me to the beach — another dream. And it happened there too.
While driving back, he said:
"Why do you want to be confined to a girlfriend when I consider you as my wife?"
That line shattered me.
I could not sleep.
The next day was Sunday. I hadn't been feeling well, so I used a strip to test my urine.
Positive. I was pregnant.
I couldn't wait until Monday to tell him.
Monday came. I reached the office early.
I waited. He didn't show up.
I went to the car park. No sign. Called his number — switched off.
He wasn't online. My mind went crazy. Accidents? Kidnapping?
Then I noticed people staring at me.
I wouldn't have suspected anything if I hadn't caught someone whispering something about a group chat message.
I rushed to my seat, opened WhatsApp…
Boom.
Yes, not what you thought joor!
He didn't travel.
He didn't relocate.
He was a ghost!
The news is all over!
He'd been dead four years.
I fainted.
Pregnant for a ghost?
I woke up in the hospital.
Did all I could to have a miscarry. Nothing worked.
His son is fine today.
Tobechukwu Junior is fine.
Now, my sham£ was stronger than the pain I had caused so many men.
Single mother from a Ghost husband. No man wants to ever get close to me.
